


but (somewhere) you exist

by littlefirewriting



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Open Ending, Post-Game, Reunion, ShuAke Week 2019, kind of, weird knife metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 12:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21054155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlefirewriting/pseuds/littlefirewriting
Summary: Goro brushes his thumb over Akira’s knuckles in response, slows his pace a bit, and continues towards Leblanc without looking back.Then and there, Akira swears he won’t look back either.-----------------------------------------------------Shuake Week 2019.Day 3: Reunion.





	but (somewhere) you exist

Not for lack of imagination, but this isn’t how he’d imagined meeting a ghost - _ his _ ghost - again.

Akira also wasn’t sure when he’d started imagining meeting Akechi again, probably sometime between months three and four of vehement denial; days where the cafe was empty and the seat across from him felt horrible to look at. He would discard the knife in his side, lay it somewhere on the kitchen counter (surely it will return, once his fantasy is nothing more than dust), and stare at the doorway.

If he concentrated enough, the chime attached to the door corner would jingle, and Akira could almost hear the way Akechi would breeze in like a cold wind. Soft footfalls, the screech of a barstool against the floor.

But if he concentrated too hard, the knife would return and twist violently, stripping away the image of the way Akechi would shed his coat and stare expectantly, pleasant pools of red glancing up beneath lashes that made him looks eons softer-

The knife twists again, and Akira decides it’s time to hang the bloodied memory out to dry. He aggressively wipes down the counter, tries not to think of loss and grief, and locks Leblanc up for the night.

His dreams are empty that night, and Akira almost wishes they weren’t.

If he met Akechi in a dream, he might be okay with that. Sure, it isn’t necessarily tangible, but his dreams have impacted him enough in the last year that he would take the scraps and run with them if given the chance. Unfortunately, the only Akechi he manages to see when sleep takes him is striped and bruised and cold - everything he _ shouldn’t _ be.

Sometimes, he would imagine coming home to Akechi waiting in the attic. Warm, alive, and nagging him about anything he could get his eyes on; there’s too much dust on the bookshelf, your windows are dirty, _ for the love of god please start cleaning Morgana’s fur off the bed _ . Sojiro would murmur agreement from the bottom of the staircase, everything was fine, it was _ normalokayperfectamazing-- _

_ Everything was fake. _

Akira knows that, knows he’s been setting himself up for disappointment the second that every brunet head in his field of vision begins to make his chest tighten.

Ann says he should talk to them. Get it out. Ryuji takes him out for ramen once a week, makes him run his ass off, reminds him how _ important _ he is with the same concerned glint to his eye that the rest of the group has been carrying.

Yusuke is quiet, and Akira appreciates that. Akira appreciates the normalcy weaved into his silent but constant presence.

Akira has missed normalcy.

When the next December hits, he thinks that it might have reintroduced itself to Akira’s life. Routine, friends, the way it was before. He walks to the station that morning, goes to school, goes to work.

He gets off at his stop in Yongen-Jaya, walks into the cold, and hikes his scarf up a little higher around his mouth. 

Akira looks up, and freezes in place. His hand feels heavy and he accidentally pulls his scarf down again, whatever has caught his attention stares back at him, -

Akira wasn’t sure when he would ever see Akechi again, but seemingly waiting for him at the station was close to the bottom of his list.

Akechi looks around cautiously, but no one seems to pay any particular attention to the pair. A few people bump Akira’s shoulder as they try to move around him - right, moving is a thing - and he finally finds it in him to slowly start towards Akechi. The knife in his side feels more like a thorn now, pricking just a bit every time he takes a step. Akira can’t see all of Akechi’s face, bundled up from the nose down, but the way his cheeks bunch every so slightly over the fabric tips off the fact that he is smiling - _ genuinely smiling _\- at Akira.

Akechi takes his hand, doesn’t give him the chance to lead the way back home; gosh, _ home _. Akira thinks he might melt out of the ex-detective’s grip, and decides to hold tighter. Goro brushes his thumb over Akira’s knuckles in response, slows his pace a bit, and continues towards Leblanc without looking back. 

Then and there, Akira swears he won’t look back either.

**Author's Note:**

> It's 3:00 AM, and I swore to myself I would get *something* done for ShuAke week. Here's, you guessed it, some angst.
> 
> Follow me on twitter, @gendices!


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